Stress and its effects are omnipresent in our modern world. Psychologist Tina Tanšek from the MyBodyMind health coaching team explains on the Gentleman blog why it is so important to find a healthy and constructive way to deal with stress and how to achieve this. The fundamentals of resilience play a crucial role. Because without a stable foundation, even the best methods for managing stress are only partially effective.
The biology of stress: good in the short term, dangerous in the long term
Our biological system is designed to deal with short-term stress. In ancient times, the principle was “Fight or Flight“Essential for survival in order to control dangerous situations. However, in today’s world, where challenges are often long and complex, these ancient mechanisms are reaching their limits. Chronic stress and constant tension can have serious health consequences, because our body and psyche are not designed for a permanent state of alarm.
Life is a constant flow of change, and the only constant in life is change itself. Instead of facing change with fear and distrust, we should learn to face it with curiosity, open-mindedness and a dose of calm. Our system likes what is familiar, even if it harms us – a phenomenon known as self-sabotage. This happens when we repeatedly sabotage our own desire for change by retreating to what is familiar:It has to be perfect before you start.” Or “I prefer not to start because I might fail“are typical patterns of self-sabotage.
This makes it all the more important to develop a constructive way to manage stress and integrate the fundamental characteristics of resilience into our lives so that our stressors do not overwhelm us.
The four pillars of resilience
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Acceptance: recognize reality and act
Acceptance is often misunderstood and equated with terms such as resignation, abandonment or passivity. In fact, acceptance is the opposite of abandonment. It is an active process that allows us to see reality intact and act on this knowledge. Acceptance means facing the truth without sugarcoating it. It’s about radically accepting the realities of our lives, even when they are uncomfortable. This honest confrontation is the first step to initiating change in our lives.
An example: an overweight person can only make real progress when they accept that they are overweight as a reality. Only then will it be possible to honestly approach your own eating behavior and make targeted changes. Without acceptance, you remain trapped in a state of denial that prevents real progress. Acceptance allows e.g. B. first take an honest look at your own eating habits. It is only through acceptance that we become aware of the underlying feelings that determine our own behavior patterns.
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Personal Responsibility: Shaping Your Own Life
Personal responsibility is a central aspect of stress management and personal growth. This means we take full responsibility for our lives – for our actions, our decisions, and how we deal with stress. No one can take this responsibility away from us and no one can show us the way from the outside. Self-responsibility means seeing ourselves as the main actor in our own life and accepting that we control our own destiny.
This thought can be overwhelming, but it also holds great freedom and power. When we take responsibility, we realize that we are not at the mercy of circumstances, but that we can actively bring about change, externally, but especially internally. The inside is almost always more important than the outside NOT can be changed occasionally, but the inner world can. But it forces us to face challenges and develop solutions instead of remaining in the role of victim.
It’s not just about external changes. It is often our inner attitudes that block us. By examining and adjusting our perspectives, we gain new insights and can see stress as an opportunity for self-determination and growth. This not only helps us cope with stressful situations, but also emerge stronger.
Example: Family circumstances generally cannot be changed immediately. But we can take responsibility and decide how we respond.
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Connection: relationships as a support in life
Humans are social creatures by nature and our relationships with others play a central role in our lives. They provide us with safety, security and belonging – essential elements for our emotional well-being. In times of stress, stable relationships act as a refuge that offers us protection and understanding. These social connections help reduce stress and support the regulation of our nervous system.
Exchanging ideas with other people often opens up new perspectives and approaches to solutions that we wouldn’t see alone. This form of support strengthens our resilience by encouraging us to embrace challenges rather than being overwhelmed by them.
But the same is true here: the connection to ourselves is even more important! In our fast-paced world, we often lose touch with our own feelings and thoughts. Self-awareness and mindfulness help us recognize and respond to our inner needs. Only if we understand and treat ourselves with care can we bring about lasting change and manage stress in healthier ways. Mindfulness goes way beyond conscious breathing on the yoga mat. Rather, mindfulness means being aware and is evident in all areas of our daily lives: How do I eat? How can I treat others and myself? Connecting with ourselves and others forms a strong network that supports us in difficult times and builds our resilience.
In everyday life, the connection with ourselves is reflected in the fact that we can name our feelings and have the courage to feel them without immediately numbing ourselves, e.g. B. by too much food, nicotine, alcohol, drinking, etc.
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Solution Orientation and Healthy Optimism: Looking to the Future
People often ask themselves: “Why is this happening to me?“However, this question rarely leads to a solution, but usually to toxic blame. It’s much more important to focus on what you can do about the situation. The emphasis should always be on a solution-oriented mindset. Viktor E. Frankl, a Jewish physician and concentration camp survivor, put it aptly: “It never matters what we expect from life, only what life expects from us.“This attitude helps us stay active and not get lost in negative thought spirals.
Healthy optimism does not mean ignoring reality or focusing only on “good vibes only” to focus. It’s about accepting life’s challenges, experiencing them deeply and considering the future in a constructive way. Change is not always easy, but it is necessary and useful.
Conclusion: the path to a stress-free life
Coping with stress requires conscious examination of one’s own thought and behavior patterns. The best and most sustainable strategy for greater calm is resilience. This is the key to being able to face life’s challenges. Through acceptance, personal responsibility, connection, and solution-oriented thinking, we can learn not only to cope with stress, but also to grow from it. Ultimately, it is not the circumstances that determine our life, but rather how we react to them.
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